"Not Me" Tuesday-Dinner Edition

I did not decide to post a not me Tuesday just because Monday was over and I didn't know how to retro activate a not me Monday.
I did not have hunger pains growling from within and indulge in a Terry's Chocolate Orange instead of making dinner. Then when I dropped some on the kitchen floor, the Germaphobe me, did not pick it up and eat it anyway.
I did not decide to make dinner a couple of hours later and decide to make soup, which is so conveniently in a CAN...and I did not search EVERYWHERE for the DAG-GUM opener (in a 995 sq ft apartment that IS NOT that big) before settling on a frozen pizza instead.
I did not pull out the said pizza mentioned above and find it soooo frost bitten it was warped into a hat shape, and I contemplated eating it anyway until I saw the snowball sized ice crystals formed in the center.
I did not pull out choice number three, pizza bagels, and find that whomever placed them in the box at the time of packaging forgot most of the toppings because a SPRIG of cheese and a DOT of sauce just wont cut it!! I did not force it into the microwave anyway, douse it with more cheese, and burn it into an inedible crisp anyway.
Lastly, I did not decide to eat Ben and Jerries anyway, and consume entirely too much chocolate, again, because that seems to be the only non-frost-bitten or non-can-inhabiting substance in the cotton-pickin apartment. AHHH!